Oracle Scratchpad

March 4, 2011

Annie Hall

Filed under: humour — Jonathan Lewis @ 6:48 pm BST Mar 4,2011

From time to time I am reminded by postings on the OTN database forum of a sequence  from the move Annie Hall which shows Diane Keaton and Woody Allen being interviewed (separately) by their therapists:


    DK’s Therapist: “Do you have sex often? “
    Diane Keaton:  “Constantly, I’d say three times a week”

    WA’s Therapist: “How often do you sleep together?”
    Woody Allen:   “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week”

This dislocation appears in a similar fashion with Oracle – though the dialogue goes something like this:


    User: “This query takes forever to run.”
    DBA: “Can you give me a rough idea of how long ?”
    User: “Nearly 10 seconds”.

Advice to DBAs – remember to ask for facts, not opinions.

2 Comments »

  1. Yeah, we need an “Everything you wanted to know about Oracle but were afraid to ask.”

    Are the buffers dirty?
    If you’re doing it right.

    Comment by joel garry — March 5, 2011 @ 12:58 am BST Mar 5,2011 | Reply

    • So how often does DBWR write to disc ?

        Diane Keaton’s DBA: “Constantly, I’d say every three seconds.”

        Woody Allen’s DBA: “Hardly ever, wakes up every three seconds but often goes straight back to sleep.”

      (They could both be right for their own systems, by the way, but WA’s DBA offers a description that is closer to the generic situation.)

      Comment by Jonathan Lewis — March 5, 2011 @ 8:46 am BST Mar 5,2011 | Reply


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