Oracle Scratchpad

March 4, 2011

Annie Hall

Filed under: humour — Jonathan Lewis @ 6:48 pm BST Mar 4,2011

From time to time I am reminded by postings on the OTN database forum of a sequence  from the move Annie Hall which shows Diane Keaton and Woody Allen being interviewed (separately) by their therapists:

    DK’s Therapist: “Do you have sex often? ”
    Diane Keaton:  “Constantly, I’d say three times a week”

    WA’s Therapist: “How often do you sleep together?”
    Woody Allen:   “Hardly ever, maybe three times a week”

This dislocation appears in a similar fashion with Oracle – though the dialogue goes something like this:

    User: “This query takes forever to run.”
    DBA: “Can you give me a rough idea of how long ?”
    User: “Nearly 10 seconds”.

Advice to DBAs – remember to ask for facts, not opinions.


  1. Yeah, we need an “Everything you wanted to know about Oracle but were afraid to ask.”

    Are the buffers dirty?
    If you’re doing it right.

    Comment by joel garry — March 5, 2011 @ 12:58 am BST Mar 5,2011 | Reply

    • So how often does DBWR write to disc ?

        Diane Keaton’s DBA: “Constantly, I’d say every three seconds.”

        Woody Allen’s DBA: “Hardly ever, wakes up every three seconds but often goes straight back to sleep.”

      (They could both be right for their own systems, by the way, but WA’s DBA offers a description that is closer to the generic situation.)

      Comment by Jonathan Lewis — March 5, 2011 @ 8:46 am BST Mar 5,2011 | Reply

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