Oracle Scratchpad

February 14, 2011

Burleson buys BMC ?

Filed under: humour — Jonathan Lewis @ 8:40 am GMT Feb 14,2011

There have been rumours running through the Oracle community over the last couple of days following publication of a note containing a clue that Burleson Consulting may have acquired the rights to BMC’s performance monitoring tool “Patrol” – and may even have bought out BMC itself. These rumours started shortly after the disappearance of a blog item by Charles Hooper discussing an SQL statement executed by the product formerly (perhaps still) known as BMC Patrol.

When questioned about the disappearance of the blog item Mr. Hooper explained that it had been taken down by his service provider in accordance with a DMCA takedown notice issued by Burleson Consulting and signed by Don Burleson who had quoted the SQL statement in question and stated that: “Under penalty of perjury, I swear that … I am the copyright owner of this material”.


The purchase of BMC Patrol by Burleson Consulting has not yet been officially announced by either party but the copyright claim contained in the DMCA notice would appear to indicate that Burleson Consulting has acquired exclusive copyright by purchasing (at a minimum) the rights to the product.

In other news

Latest gossip suggests that database giant Oracle Corporation has not completely discounted their option to sue Burleson Consulting regarding the latter’s frequent publication of the SQL statement: "select sysdate from dual;" despite having  prior publication dates for  the phrase as a whole and  the words “sysdate” and “dual” independently.

Any such gossip is, as yet, completely unsubstantiated but attorneys representing the descendants of Rene Descartes are said to be keeping their fingers crossed that Oracle Corporation will make something of this issue.

It is possible, however, that these rumours were never intended as serious comment and are the result of the inevitable mockery that ought to follow any ridiculous abuse of the DMCA mechanism.

Update 28th Feb:

The original article is back – with a footnote about the false DMCA claim.

I can’t help noticing that the article was unavailable for 17 days in total, though – which is longer than the eleven days it took for my articles to reaappear. There is an important performance guideline here – when Mr. Burleson is behaving badly, publish the fact and drop a note to his wife.


  1. My favorite line:

    “inevitable mockery that ought to follow any ridiculous abuse of the DMCA mechanism”

    Comment by Tony — February 14, 2011 @ 12:35 pm GMT Feb 14,2011 | Reply

  2. This is even funnier (which is hard to do) if you read it aloud while impersonating John Cleese (British writer, actor, and Tall Person).

    Comment by Dan — February 14, 2011 @ 2:10 pm GMT Feb 14,2011 | Reply

  3. I would have never thought Descartes would show up in an Oracle blog, but I knew my philosophy class in college would pay off somehow. :)

    Perhaps, in the spirit of Descartes: “I don’t think, therefore I litigate”

    Comment by Craig — February 14, 2011 @ 2:35 pm GMT Feb 14,2011 | Reply

  4. Currently BMC is @50.87 and there are 178.62 M shares outstanding!

    When did Burleson consulting turned into a billion dollar company ?..

    Comment by Walter — February 14, 2011 @ 9:40 pm GMT Feb 14,2011 | Reply

  5. ROFL.

    Does one need to say more.


    Comment by Marco Gralike — February 14, 2011 @ 10:59 pm GMT Feb 14,2011 | Reply

  6. Why am I not surprised someone like Burleson would do this? I intentionally have a filter of all of my searches to eliminate anything from what seems like billions of his domains. :)


    Comment by Joe — February 17, 2011 @ 5:26 pm GMT Feb 17,2011 | Reply

  7. I thought that Burleson already had his own software performance tool called ION or something like that. Why would he buy another tool if he already has one that he is selling?
    Makes no sense to me.

    Comment by Ben Prusinski — February 17, 2011 @ 6:51 pm GMT Feb 17,2011 | Reply

  8. @Ben:

    Why would Oracle buy another VM when it already has one? To kill it off and take the customers, of course.

    But this was a humour post, so it would be more like Why would Wired Press buy The Onion?

    Comment by joel garry — February 18, 2011 @ 7:11 pm GMT Feb 18,2011 | Reply

  9. I see that Charles Hooper’s original article has re-appeared (with a footnote). So I think we can safely assume that Burleson Consulting has NOT purchased BMC Patrol.

    Comment by Jonathan Lewis — February 28, 2011 @ 9:51 am GMT Feb 28,2011 | Reply

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